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"The Ad-dressing of Cats" was written by T.S. Eliot and appears in his book entitled Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats. The excerpt on the main page is taken from the adaptation done by Andrew Lloyd Webber and/or Trevor Nunn and/or Richard Stilgoe for the musical CATS. Further tweakings were done by me. BTW, I do recommend reading Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats; it is both good poetry and amusing. I have included the full version of "The Ad-dressing of Cats" below. I decided to use the abridged version for the cover page because, while the original is wonderful, it is rather long, especially for an index page.
Special thanks to my husband, Andy Wilson for his scanning, encouragement, and the initial HTML help. I wish I could thank pages where I've learned further HTML tricks, but unfortunately I was too busy learning to make note of what I learned where. However, I do want to acknowledge the three pages to which all of mine link: the "Any Browser" campaign, which encourages people to write pages as inclusively as possible; the "Bobby" pages, which not only validate HTML as accessible, but also demonstrate that pages with lots of bells and whistles can still be so, and the World Wide Web consortium, which is doing its best, despite concerted efforts from browsers which wish to limit access to others, to work on standards which are both useful and which keep the web as open as possible.
You've read of several kinds of Cat,
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand their character.
You now have learned enough to see
That Cats are much like you and me
And other people whom we find
Possessed of various types of mind.
For some are sane and some are mad
And some are good and some are bad
And some are better, some are worse--
But all may be described in verse.
You've seen them both in work and games,
And learnt about their proper names,
Their habits and their habitat:
But
How would you ad-dress a Cat?
So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A CAT IS NOT A DOG.
Now Dogs pretend they like to fight;
They often bark, more seldom bite;
But yet a Dog is, on the whole,
What you would call a simple soul.
Of course I'm not including Pekes,
And such fantastic canine freaks.
The usual Dog about the Town
Is much inclined to play the clown,
And far from showing too much pride
Is frequently undignified.
He's very easily taken in--
Just chuck him underneath the chin
Or slap his back or shake his paw,
And he will gambol and guffaw.
He's such an easy-going lout,
He'll answer any hail or shout.
Again I must remind you that
A Dog's a Dog--A CAT'S A CAT.
With Cats, some say, ne rule is true:
Don't speak till you are spoken to.
Myself, I do not hold with that--
I say, you should ad-dress a Cat.
But always keep in mind that he
Resents familiarity.
I bow, and taking off my hat,
Ad-dress him in this form: O CAT!
But if he is the Cat next door,
Whom I have often met before
(He comes to see me in my flat)
I greet him with an OOPSA CAT!
I think I've heard them call him James--
But we've not got so far as names.
Before a Cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream;
And you might now and then supply
Some caviare, or Strassburg Pie,
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste--
He's sure to have his personal taste.
(I know a Cat, who makes a habit
Of eating nothing else but rabbit,
And when he's finished, licks his paws
So's not to waste the onion sauce.)
A Cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
And so in time you reach your aim,
And finally call him by his NAME.
So this is this, and that is that:
And there's how you AD-DRESS A CAT.
To Stardrift's Beginning
To Cat's Corner
To contact Cat, non-spammers please be
sure to include the words "Drifting Meow" in the subject line. Bulk mailers,
regard this as notification that I do not wish to be contacted.
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